Marriage Bonds or Bail Bonds?
As the new year begins, many people make resolutions or set goals for themselves, their families, and their businesses. But how about setting goals for your marriage? After all, good marriages don’t happen by themselves.
In this blog post, I challenge all couples to set a goal to strengthen one of the most important parts of marriage (and possibly the least talked about) called the marriage bond (not to be confused with a bail bond).
But first, what is the marriage bond?
The marriage bond is a special and unique connection God gives to a husband and wife. On the other hand, a bail bond is a financial guarantee made by a person who does not want to go to jail. They promise to appear in court in exchange for being released.
So, marriage bonds keep you in, and bail bonds get you out. Just make sure you don’t mix up the two, or you might end up in more trouble than you bargained for!
Even if you know your marriage bond is essential to a healthy marriage, it’s easy to let the busyness of life (especially the busyness of ministry) and the demands of work, family, and other responsibilities distract you.
But the truth is, the bond of marriage is worth fighting for.
It provides a sense of security, belonging, and support that can be hard to find elsewhere. And while it may not always be easy, working on your marriage will bring marvelous, wonderful, and amazing rewards to every area of your life.
And I’m happy to say that the Lord will help you each step of the way when you ask him.
Read Jeremiah 33:3. It’s one of my favorite Bible verses. Better yet, read the scripture with your spouse. Then hold hands, say a short word of prayer together, and watch what happens.
Realize that marriage is more than a beautiful duet; it’s a Holy Trio made up of a husband, wife, and the Lord God they serve.
“In marriage, we are bonded together in love and commitment, just like in bail bonds, we are bonded to the promise of staying out of trouble. But let’s be real; marriage bonds are way more fun than bail bonds. No orange jumpsuits or cramped cells in sight, just endless love and companionship.”
So how can you strengthen the bond of marriage in your relationship? I’m so glad you asked. To make it easy for couples to remember what to focus on to strengthen their marriage bond, I created an acronym for the word B.O.N.D. where each letter provides one step of what to work on. Here they are:
Four Steps to Strengthen Your Marriage Bond:
1. B – Be open and honest in communication.
Good communication is essential for a strong marriage. Make a goal to set aside dedicated time to talk with your spouse and really listen to each other. It should not be complicated. Remember when you were dating? It was easy to talk and listen. Do that again. Be open and honest about your feelings, thoughts, and needs. Be nice, and don’t verbally attack your spouse; remember you want to build a strong marriage, not tear it down.
2. O – Offer appreciation and gratitude regularly.
It’s essential to show your spouse that you appreciate and value them regularly. Aim to express your appreciation through small acts of kindness, verbal affirmations, and thoughtful gestures. For example, if you know your wife likes chocolate Hershey bars, buy her one (or two.) If you don’t know what she likes, just ask her and get it.
3. N – Nurture the relationship with shared activities.
Do things together: Make a goal to do activities that strengthen your bond as a couple. The activities can be as simple as walking or hiking, bike riding or going on regular date nights, or trying a new hobby together. Be creative and have fun. Consider setting personal goals, such as improving your physical or mental health and saving for a down payment on a house or planning a special vacation.
4. D – Dedicate time to resolving conflicts and practicing forgiveness.
There will always be disagreements in marriage. Conflicts and misunderstandings are a natural part of any relationship. Make a goal to practice forgiveness and work on resolving conflicts in a healthy way. Here’s a free tip. Remember those two little words you said when you got married? “I Do.” Well, there are two more words that will keep you married if you practice them: “I’m Sorry.”
By following these four steps, you will not only strengthen your marriage bond but also create a more profound sense of connection and fulfillment and possibly even propel the purpose of your relationship.
So take a moment with your spouse today and start writing a few 2023 personal marriage bond goals. And remember, a good marriage is worth way more than any bail money!”
Here’s to a happy and healthy 2023!
I welcome your comments.